Marriage Jokes

[Bucnright]

Husband: Don’t put that money in your mouth. There are germs on it.

Wife: Don’t be silly. Even a germ can’t live on the money you make.

[Bucnright]

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

[Bucnright]

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door on his way to the office. At 10 a.m., the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses. At 1 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the candy, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never spent a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my whole life!"

[Bucnright]

A little boy says to his mother, "Mom, I'll be good for a dollar" The mother replies, "I shouldn't have to pay you to be good, you should be good all the time"
The little boy says, "OK Mom, I'll be good for 50 cents." The mother says, "I shouldn't have to pay you to be good you should be good all the time.
The little boy says, "OK Mom, I'll be good for a 25 cents." The mother says, "How many times do I have to tell you I shouldn't have to pay you to be good. You should be good for nothing, just like your father."

[Bucnright]

Harry and Esther are out shopping one morning when
Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday
tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she
would like something electric."

Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

[spitoon]

Spitoon is married; how drunk was Mrs. Spit.   :wink:  .

Go Leafs Go

[BabyRN]

these are very cute Buc!